The first impression your parents have of your partner is important. Anything unpleasant, even the smallest, can affect the direction of your relationship .
The author of this story finds himself in a difficult situation due to his girlfriend's unhealthy living conditions. She is embarrassed to welcome her parents into her home and struggles to find a way to explain it to them.
The young man is now asking the Reddit community for advice and hopes for clarification and solutions. Scroll down to see the full text and what readers have to say.
You can also find our interviews with dating trainer Amie Leadingham , relationship psychologist Dr. Marie Land and marriage and family therapist Catherine Auman, LMFT. They were kind enough to share their thoughts on relationship cleansing.
Openness and honesty are necessary for a healthy relationship
Photo credit: ThrowRADNR
This man finds it difficult to talk openly about his girlfriend's unhealthy living situation.
Photo credit: ThrowRADNR
Photo credit: ThrowRADNR
Photo credit: ThrowRADNR
He is embarrassed and hesitant to bring his parents home and doesn't know how to tell them.
Photo credit: ThrowRADNR
Lack of cleanliness can be an obstacle to relationships
The author described how dirty his girlfriend's house was. Many of these pose potential health risks, which Auman says are a deal breaker.
"However, there is a big difference between a general lack of cleanliness and living in filth," he told Bored Panda . "No one should tolerate this last point. "If someone is living in a way that endangers the health of others, that should be a barrier."
There may also be a problem with how a person perceives cleanliness. The woman may think everything is fine; According to Dr. country problems.
"Some people are okay with throwing out trash as long as it's not in their own living space, while others have much higher standards," she said.
However, house cleaning reflects something deeper. According to Leadingham, this may indicate a loved one 's level of respect , which may be lacking in this case.
Over time, this can become a deal-breaker for the other person, whose need for order conflicts with their partner's seemingly lax standards.
"Different standards of cleanliness can lead to daily tensions and resentments that, over time, undermine relationship satisfaction. »
This doesn't seem like a big deal, but the author probably feels that his girlfriend isn't respectful enough to ensure a living environment that doesn't pose health risks. This could become a bigger problem once the parents realize how messy the place is.
Timing is everything when speaking to a loved one about difficult truths.
Photo credit: Vitaly Gariev / pexels (not the actual photo)
The author's main concern is to tell his girlfriend about the problem without offending her or causing more problems. Leadingham and Auman agree that good timing will be crucial.
"Otherwise it can feel like an ambush," Auman said, adding that talking about difficult topics in a relationship is a skill anyone can master.
Leadingham adds that using aggressive words like "dirty" can be embarrassing and defeat the purpose of solving the problem as a team. Instead, he suggests focusing on an approach that starts from the point of attention.
" Offer your support and cooperation to find solutions and be willing to listen to their perspective with empathy," he said.
Dr. Land shares a similar sentiment and urges you to view the conversation as your sensitivity and not as something preordained. She says the focus should be on how their behavior affects you, but it should be expressed without judgment.
"Explain to them that it's not about blaming them, but rather that you need their help to create an environment that promotes their well-being ," said Dr. Country.
This can help the author approach the topic in a non-confrontational way and highlight how it benefits everyone involved.
Many readers made some suggestions and wished him good luck.
Some shared similar experiences.
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