amzing completed by unpacking and replacement (somewhat cumbersome) and courtesies introductions with his new roommate. What now? What the two hit it off and all is well in the world, and there are already some tension or a strange feeling in the first days of life together is an important measure that set the tone for the rest of the year.
We spoke with Jennifer Luciano, Dean of Students at LIM College, contracts roommate meaning and end as the conflict potential partners soil in their tracks. This is what he proposes to sail smoothly throughout the semester.
write down Although it formally house rules may seem a little writing, Luciano she thinks for a successful and happy life environment is very important. "Help contracts peers and give an overview of how each person prefers to live," he said. "This can help with problems. , The best thing you can do is, frankly, to use your voice and commitment. The agreement works best when all can agree on the conditions of the room. "
to practice, in fact, many early services life, establishing initial rules. The document is not made of stone, but his. Luciano says, "As people can live things together. To change it is best to discuss things begin immediately and continue to discuss during the year. Many times students come in thinking they are a morning person, and then realize that they are half of the semester to sleep they love. If you consider that it is important to speak his colleagues found that the change in sleep schedule can cause many problems. "
to care
When creating your single contract, it is important to find flexible and to be space and obligated areas, especially if you "stuck" consistently or perhaps are used in all your ways privacy. "I have not seen much of non-negotiable. However, you need to know "yourself and what you are willing to compromise, Luciano said. nonnegotiable "The greatest" "I saw were clean and room temperature. to discuss students who love the warm space requirements, especially if they are with a partner, the cold, the. Sometimes a compromise is love, but it can be done if someone has allergies, this can be a problem. Also needs a housekeeping if a roommate is very clean and is a bit messy, it may seem that this is not negotiable. "
He also suggested to be as accurate as possible, if they work together in the contract, and to avoid confusion. "Words wie,'kalt,'sauber,und',hot disorder" all subjective "are, he said." Everyone has a different definition of what that means, it is important to discuss what you as pure and impure, hot define and cold. "(and other specific terms, too!)
Luciano recommends these issues in lifestyle base during the contract to ask, including: "Do you like more customers? Do you mind sleeping on the guests? In bed? You can share clothes? How do you want them back? Can be asked a question before borrowing? Moments when no guests are not allowed? Did you sleep partner something about it? "
Also think about the little things. Above all, oddly enough, the toilet paper! "The hardest to clean adaptation issues Partners and toilet paper (if you share a bathroom)," Luciano shares. "Toilet paper is one of the biggest arguments. Who buys? Is there a favorite brand? How to share? If you have shared bathrooms, so how do you keep your room? Do you want to make the bed? Do you have the spirit of food? You ?, clean the refrigerator is sweeping and mopping My advice is the stupidest things to talk about. You may think that toilet paper must not be stupid and discussed, but talk about it. "
Do not be afraid to be exact. "Create a program that works for everyone, it discusses what it means clean, discuss how the customers affect the living conditions. Be honest and not to avoid a conversation that may seem absurd. Stupid things when you live with someone can contact you are the biggest problems. "
conflict resolution
in the life of the year in the super close proximity, conflicts are a reality in many situations fourth partner to spend While almost 200 days. The key to rapid and significant resolution lies in the way they are treated. Luciano says. Almost all of life's problems are treated with a compromise, "if you are honest with yourself about your needs and desires Once you know what you have to live what you want to live, then you can understand how to give. "
An important commitment, unsurprisingly, effective communication. Talk to your roommate is crucial. "I saw grown very little problems just because of misunderstandings and assumptions" reflects Luciano. "Talk to your roommate, if you think you can not, then talk to your residence advisor. You many tips that can help navigate a conversation. "
If and when you are in the middle of the conflict Luciano recommends "communication, patience and gossip. The communication method that works best for everyone involved. Not only text messages with text messages can be misinterpreted not go. "Social media," air their dirty laundry "to others that major problems cause can not live in the area. Be honest and polite. Civility Peer go a long way.
last seasons
Despite all the efforts and the best advice, unfortunately sometimes the best solution is separation. If you think this is the case, Luciano first proposed, "Discover the rules of their residence. The can at the school be an option, a local switch. To find out if there is a policy switch room and what it is. is there a schedule? Swap rooms are allowed (if you can swap places with another flatmate)? about policies, see so that you understand the next steps. "
Ultimately, if the switches are not allowed Luciano also suggests that "a program for cleaning manages speak guests, music, etc., and / or your RA;. find ways to coexist, if you need to study music, but as a guy relaxation room, sometimes discuss the use of hearing aids. Find other ways to make your semester / year success. "
Remember - this
To make the most of their situation in life, Luciano has always make sure to note that you and your roommate, it is for the same reasons. "Going to school and a great experience at school," he said. "Everyone pays the same amount, no one is better than the other, and the differences are in agreement. You should not be friends, but should be able to exist. "
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