One woman described the "pain" she felt after learning her in-laws had complained about the "dirty" apartment and offered to clean it .
In an angry post shared by the alias Dakotablue on Mumsnet , the wife expressed frustration that her husband's parents were exaggerating with their "rude" comments about where they live.
A clean house, a clean mind, they say. However, research suggests that a significant portion of Americans have difficulty maintaining this type of Zen order at home.
In a survey of 2,000 US adults for vacuum cleaner manufacturer Eufy, 73% admitted that while they like keeping their house clean, they hate cleaning.
The same study found that 50% of respondents see themselves as last-minute cleaners who put off chores, while 47% admit there are rooms in their home that are so dirty they keep guests out.
The woman who posted her dilemma on Mumsnet said she didn't fall into that category. "I sweep the floor every day, mop the floor every other day, do the dishes, washing machine, etc," she wrote. "[Our apartment] is a little small for both of us and maybe a little messier than some would like, but we're not exactly hoarders."
It all started when the woman posted a photo of her apartment on social media .
His mother-in-law was quick to respond, telling her son, "The first thing that struck me was that Zone X was dirty." A week later, when the woman was out of town, her in-laws came to visit and were immediately appalled at the situation .
"Apparently when they walked in they said 'OMG wow,'" the woman wrote, adding that they even "offered to clean the apartment for the couple."
The situation angered the woman, who called her in-laws "rude" over the comments and their offer to clean up.
"I feel a little hurt," she wrote. "She would never say those things to my face. Maybe they meant well, but I find it rude to comment negatively on people's homes and clean/tidy up without even asking. They ask. "
Jennifer Kowalski, a licensed career counselor who specializes in relationship issues and conflict resolution at in-person and online therapy company Thriveworks, told Newsweek that the conflict was about more than a messy apartment.
"I could easily say that the son should stand up for his wife immediately and tell [his mother] to mind her own business, but while this scenario seems to be about the home, it's about the assessment the mother about the children. "Daughter-in-law," he said.
"Mothers envision a life for their children before they are in the womb, and the hardest thing for a mother is entrusting her child to someone she believes is a surrogate for her. This is especially true when the partner is a woman," he noted. the expert.
Kowalski speculated that the stepmother's unsolicited advice on the apartment "was actually her assessment of whether the stepdaughter met her needs."
"Sons usually stay quiet because they're keeping the peace, but when they don't speak up, mothers often think they have a place to continue to intervene," she said. "The daughter-in-law now has to deal with the mother-in-law's judgment and the fear that [her husband] will not be happy with her because her silence inspires doubt. The only way to unite the family is to reassure everyone that this is a union that doesn't need outside opinions."
However, those who spoke out on social media offered a more direct take on the situation.
User SippingSangriaInMyHead found it downright rude, adding: "It's up to you how you have your house. Even if you decide never to clean again, it's none of your business."
Travelbud suggested taking an extreme course of action, writing, "In the future, just don't keep them in your house. Get a quick coffee and leave it." with BCBird agreeing, "They either come and don't comment or they don't. I wouldn't tidy up for hours. Why should you?"
Newsweek was unable to verify details of the case.
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