Dear Abby: I have failed in a 30-year relationship and as a father of five children. After feeling terrible for several years, I was finally diagnosed with a blood disorder. I was prescribed a chemotherapy pill and two years later was diagnosed with severe neuropathy. The depression began. I got carried away and rarely got out of bed. My wife complained because she wanted me to take more care of the children, but I failed.
We are currently getting divorced. I was separated from my 13 year old son and don't know how to reconnect. He is the youngest of my children and is very special to me because he is adopted just like me. I need help. I'm not good at forcing myself. Please help me because my heart is broken.
– Need help in Pennsylvania
Dear Sir or Madam, I need help: The people who can give you the help you are looking for are your divorce attorney and a licensed psychologist. The first is ensuring that your legal rights as a parent are respected. The latter can help you be more assertive and hopefully reconnect with your younger child. Your heart may be broken, but it will heal faster if you start now.
Also: A long-distance couple wants to maintain the sexual spark
Dear Abby: Out of the blue, my husband announced on Facebook that he thought we should break up. I got angry and told him it was making me feel insecure because I didn't think there was any reason for it. This seems very suspicious to me and if there is a reason for it, I think we should break up. He took me with him anyway. He called me narrow-minded and told me he valued Facebook more than our marriage. It's right?
– Social media spirit in Georgia
Dear SMM: No, you are not right. Her husband's announcement was a wake-up call. When a spouse does what his husband did, it's usually because he doesn't want his partner to see what he posts and he doesn't want to be monitored.
You need to discuss this further so you can explain your reasons. If the conversation is not fruitful, offer your husband the opportunity to see a licensed marriage and family therapist. If they refuse, contact an attorney to ensure your interests are protected.
Dear Abby: Our church hosts a potluck every Saturday. How do you deal with parasites (an adult family of three) who never contribute? They rush to be the first, don't help clean up, and never stop taking home leftovers. They act like they deserve free meals. We are a small church and could use an extra plate, help cleaning up, etc. Thank you for your advice.
– Outraged in Oregon
Dear Outraged: "Someone" (preferably, but not necessarily the religious leader of your church) should privately take the family aside and explain the "rules" to them. This may not happen until you complain about what is happening. If the family can't afford to bring a plate, the least they can do is help clean up.
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com.
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